advice you didn't ask for

the most selfless thing you can do

These days, everyone wants to do something to “make an impact” or “be the change” but the truth is you can’t be the best version of yourself unless you first invest your time INTO yourself. This selfish process ironically turns into the most selfless thing you can do. Only after figuring out who you really are, can you begin to truly invest in other people and “make a difference” in their life. Ok this sounds really profound but it’s actually so simple.

Stop right now and think about yourself. Who are you right now? What do you think comes to people’s mind when they think of you? What things are at the top of your list of priorities? What things are at the bottom? What things are you lacking in your life? What are you proud of? When you walk into a room do you feel secure? Do you look for the good in daily life, or uncontrollably lean toward the negative? Do you see the good in other people or notice the bad qualities first? Be honest with yourself it’s the only way this works. Compare it to the version of yourself that you WANT TO BE. What do you want people to feel when they think about you? What do you hope people do not see in you? What do you want to put first? What is taking up so much of your mental energy that actually should not matter to you at all? What is taking up your time that you wish wasn’t? Who is getting the best version of you and who isn’t? What people in your life deserve to be there? Which ones don’t (some seriously don’t and don’t give this a second thought you don’t have to explain yourself, they just don’t).

We all want to be better than we are, if you don’t then I suggest considering trying because if you think you have it all figured out then….well, you probably didn’t even open this article so no need to try and interject anyย wisdom here.ย Being a good person starts with knowing yourself. This takes serious time. I have invested years and I can’t even say I’m there completely but I have come a long way from who I was back when ‘who I was’ was solely influenced by the people around me (around me mostly by chance not by choice) and not at all by my own thoughts/feelings/values etc. Only when I started associating with people I wanted to be more like and disassociating with people I wanted to be less like, did I begin to like myself more and more. When you like yourself, you value yourself and put yourself first. You know that as long as you are happy, you will be the best version of yourself and therefor other people get to have the best version of you. It’s way more selfish to walk around with a bad attitude, unhappy, or even just slightly off because we all know you’re a “good person” but we just don’t have time for your unnecessary antics simply because your honest to God answer to questions like “Do you look for the good in daily life?” is a hard no (but there is no way you would admit that).

Listen, I still don’t have it all figured out and I never will but put yourself at the top of your list and see where it takes you. We so often let the world shape us into the people that we are but don’t let it. You need to be more in control because seriously the world is scary, and if you let the world influence you too much you might not like who you are in the end. Sometimes we can’t control our anxieties, our fears, and the parts of ourselves that we cannot stand like when you get so annoyed at something that is so dumb you can’t believe you’re letting it affect you for even one second (or sometimes your whole freakin day). This is called being human. Let that shit go and know that every day is a new day. With every day comes a new opportunity to “make an impact” and the only way to seize it is to be the absolute best version of yourself. This means prioritizing yourself for a while so you can work through what that means holding onto and what should be let go.

Be someone that you can be proud of, and believe me…you’ll make the impact.

L

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